A poem from a dream a few nights ago…..

Little fish

Deep down in the blue

What is it you think?

What is it you do?

Little fish

With big fish all around

Do you fear for your life?

In the circle you’re bound

Little fish

Do you think of the fish that you eat?

Of the lives that you take?

Of the souls that you meet?

Little fish

Do you think?

Can you think little thoughts?

Or are you machine?

Programmed for a part

Little fish

Is your life but a part on a stage?

An act prewritten?

A part in a play?

Little fish

Do you have free choice in your life?

Do you control if you turn left or right?

Little fish

I’m here looking down upon you

Like a god from on high

Like the keeper of your zoo

Little fish

Do you see you’re a metaphor for me?

Did I write this poem?

Or did God’s hand guide me?

Little fish

You’re like me

Am I in control?

Do I own my own life?

Do I have my own soul?

Little fish

Do you see the shadow behind you?

A taker of life

About to take you

Little fish

Do you know that I feel it too?

It swims behind me

Just as it did you

Little fish

You are gone

It saddens my heart

A bigger fish is there now

Is he playing your part?

Little fish

When I’m gone

When the shadow takes me

Who will play my part?

Who will stand here for me?

Wow, it’s been ages since I’ve posted. Depression does this to ones’ soul I guess. Working, driving, filling the truck with gas, buying groceries, paying bills, these are all things I do because I have to; they are part of life though I don’t think of them as part of living. Writing, riding my motorcycle, looking through the viewfinder right before I take the picture, creating music, driving my FJ, watching the birds feed, the ducks land on the pond across the street, the snow fall, these kinds of things tell my I’m alive, they speak to my soul, my heart, my being.

I’ve read over my old blog entries today and I smiled, I wept, I felt, I lived. They are like photographs for me, they capture a time of real emotion, real feeling, of times when my soul was actively participating in the symphony in my head. I sit here now wondering where I’ve been over the time since I last posted. Tomorrow marks one week since I started an anti-anxiety med, the elephant on my chest is mostly gone, I’m sleeping again and having real dreams again instead of dreaming about work. Is the freedom to really dream a sign I am emotionally and spiritually awake again?

Chui – Our puppy.

As I watched our puppy choke last night my heart raced, I was filled with fear and dread. He’s less than 2 pounds; I’m 360 pounds and nearly 7 feet tall. How can something so small, so tiny have such a grasp on my heart, my soul? We’ve nearly lost him a couple of times before, he’s spent a night in an animal NICU. I have grown children, a 10 year old grandson. How is it that this little puppy has so stolen my heart? He finally managed to cough it up, his distress was over; for him the event was forgotten within minutes, for me it still echoes in my head. We ran him to the vet and had him checked out, she said he is fine. After we got home he sprawled out on my chest as he often does and worked on his favorite chewy. He would look up and lick my face, occasionally licking away my tears as I for a moment allowed myself to feel how much I love the little shit.

Perhaps this event is why I am alive again today, feeling, and writing instead of just living……  or maybe it’s just the drugs?

Is the search for “Camel Toads” in your teenages future?
-Neil

(1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
 
(2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. ‘Five minutes’ is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with ‘nothing’ usually end in ‘fine’.

(4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

(5.) Loud Sigh: This isn’t actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about ‘nothing’.  (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6.) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. ‘That’s okay’ means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ … that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

(8.) Whatever: Is a women’s way of saying SCREW YOU!

(9.) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times and is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

Please note: I can’t take credit for this, I don’t honestly know who wrote it originally. I’ve posted it here as I find it very funny.

Anyone who lived through the 80’s must remember the 1981 assassination attempt of Ronald Regan. James Brady was also shot that day. I had the honor of meeting Mr. Brady around 1995 under somewhat odd circumstances, well, I think they’re a bit odd. To refresh your memory of the events in 1981 I’ve grabbed a couple photos from Wikipedia.

Chaos outside the Washington Hilton Hotel after the assassination attempt on President Reagan. James Brady and police officer Thomas Delehanty lie wounded on the ground.

James Scott “Jim” Brady (born August 29, 1940, Centralia, Illinois) was the former Assistant to the President and White House Press Secretary under President Ronald Reagan. After nearly being killed and becoming permanently disabled as a result of an assassination attempt on Reagan in 1981, Brady became an ardent supporter of gun control.

At the time I meet Mr. Brady I was working for Intel in Rio Rancho, New Mexico. I had flow to Washington DC for a week long programming class. During the lunch break one day I walked to a local McDonalds with another student in the class. We were sitting eating our Big Macs when my lunch companion pointed across the seating area inside the McDonalds and said “I think that’s…. You know…. That guy….” I turned to look and instantly recognized Mr. Brady.  He was there having lunch with two other people whom I didn’t recognize. I explained to my lunch companion who he was, once I mentioned the assignation attempt on Ronald Regan she remembered him as well. We talked a bit and she really wanted to meet him, as did I.

We got up and crossed the dining area, recall we are at a McDonalds. I said “Excuse me., Mr. Brady. I apologize for interrupting your lunch; I just want to say that it’s an honor to meet you.” He smiled and held out his hand, I shook it, my lunch companion shook it and we excused ourselves. He smiled again and said “Thank You”. We walked back to our table and finished our lunch.

And that’s how I met Mr. Brady.

What seems a lifetime ago, back during High School actually I got into 35mm photography. I bought a used Yashica TL Super from a friend’s dad for $5o, a lot of money back in 1977. I loved the camera; it was as if it knew me, as long as I used Fuji film it refused to take a bad picture. I shot pictures of the cheerleaders in school and some great shows of the laser light show at the local planetarium set to Pink Floyd music.  I was in my early 20’s when the camera was stolen; this still stings to this day!

I’ve owned a number of cameras since then, none of them fit me quite as well as the old TL did. Being a gadget guy and a geek I went digital in 1998 and have owned a number of point and shoot digitals since then. They’ve been OK cameras, nothing really special.

This changed early in July when for my birthday I decided to treat myself to a DSLR (Digital Single Lens Reflex) camera. I did some research online and decided cameras with 8 megapixel fell within what I was willing to spell. I read several blogs that all suggested looking at cameras with two lenses in the package as they tended to be priced well.

I kept coming across the Olympus EVolt E-500 on line and in blogs, reviews were generally positive to very positive. At $599 for the two lens package I decided to look locally for this camera.

I drove down to where I remembered a local Camera store being, I found a hot tub store there instead, the camera store being long gone. Disappointed I drove over to the local grouping of strip malls, looking for a camera store. When I didn’t find one I pulled into a local electronics chain store parking lot and entered the store. The selection of cameras was abysmal, the sales person knew nothing.

I left the store and as I walked back to my car in the distance I say a sign that appeared to say “Photo”. Driving over that way I discovered a local camera store. The sales guy was great and they had the camera I wanted to see. Overall the sales guy had good things to say about the camera as he compared it to others in the store. In the end I bought it along with a 4GB memory card, a case, filters and the extended warranty.

I’ve had the camera a couple of weeks now and am really enjoying it. It reminds me of the old TL I had 30 years ago. The weight and size really work for me; I’ve read that it’s called ¾ format. The lenses are great, it’s the fastest digital I’ve had for focus and just taking the picture. I’ve read through the manual several times now, each time finding something new to explore. It can be used just like a point and shoot or it can be used fully manual. Every possible combination of the two is available as well.

My only two grips are this, the software that came bundled for my PC was the Olympus Master 1.x version, the interface was clunky and it never recognized the camera when I plugged it into a USB port. I eventually found the newest version of it online; Version 2.x has a much improved user interface and works flawlessly with the camera under Windows Vista.

Free (after rebates) with the camera was a Polaroid P310 4×6 photo printer. Using the same USB cable I use to doc the camera to my PC I simply connect the camera directly to the printer, select the photo and print. It’s not fast but does a great job for a free printer. Of course I haven’t yet priced the ink cartridges however I’ve grown used to the sticker shock each time I buy one for my other printers.

The only downside is that I can’t connect the P310 to my PC and print any of the thousands of other photos I have……… or can I? I set the camera to capture JPG images and shot a couple junk photos. I docked the printer to my computer and browsed to the disk drive the camera maps too on the computer. From the PC I copied a couple old pictures to the same directory as the junk photos on the camera. Using the PC I then deleted the junk photos and renamed the copied photos to the same names the junk photos had.

I undocked the camera and could browse the photos just fine on the LCD. I docked to the printer and printed them without a hitch.

It’s a bit of a kludge but it works adding a little bit more value to the camera and printer.

I’ve read that the printer works fine on power inverters that plug into your cigarette lighter. I’m really looking forward to being able to print out photos real time at the next family reunion I attend at the local park. Should be a lot of fun and should reconfirm my status as the head geek within the family.

Currently I give the camera a 9 on a scale of 1-10, to get a 10 it would have needed to present a bigger image in the eye piece, having older than 45 eyes the bigger the picture the better. Just today I received the ME-1 eyepiece adapter that is supposed to make the image about 20% bigger, once I’ve had some time with it I’ll post an entry on it.

I’m really enjoying the camera and highly recommend to fellow amateur photo hounds that you take a look at it.

I know its outpatient surgery, I understand the procedure, I trust the surgeon and staff at the surgery center. Still it’s my wife going under the knife and I feel anxious and a bit fearful. It’s a simple procedure to repair a tendon in her left wrist, her right wrist had a similar procedure about 18 months ago by the same surgeon, and he also performed both her carpel tunnel surgeries. As much as the logical part of my brain screams at the emotional part of me to ‘stay calm’ I can’t help but feel a bit scared. The anxiety, fear and apprehension is the same as it’s been through her last surgeries and procedures. I’m not alarmed, it’s not a voice telling me to have her avoid the surgery. The little voice in my head has saved me many a time, but it’s not warning me about her surgery today.

I’ll be waking her in a few minutes se we can head to the surgery center, I drive, she rides, I worry, I stress. She controls her emotions better than I do, so it’s hard to read her, to know if she has fear or anxiety. Still her temper has been a little more pronounced the last week so I know she’s thinking about it.

She’s awake now, said she would need 10 minutes to get ready. I know that ten of her minutes will be closer to 25 on the clock. I’m told all women are this way; I can’t speak to the truth of this beyond saying its well within my experience.

I like to arrive early, she is always late. Perhaps thirty plus years in the corporate world has made me more aware of the clock, perhaps I’m just anal about being on time.

So, in a few minutes we’ll be leaving, upon our return I’ll update today’s entry with her status. if you get a moment wish her luck.

Wow – somehow I missed updating this, the wife is fine, the surgery went well.

My wife has ‘discovered’ she is a writer, probably fairer to say she has admitted she is a writer. This left me wondering if I’m a writer as well?

I consider myself a creative person; I believe I have an artist’s soul. I’ve found many ways to express myself over the years. I tried oil painting many years ago and enjoyed it although being a perfectionist I found I wanted to paint every single pine needle on my trees. Watching someone smash the brush on the canvas to ‘create’ trees seemed inappropriate to me. Trees aren’t random; they have incredible structure to the observing eye. Randomly smashing a brush felt like a cheap imitation.

Of course I may have missed the whole meaning here, the painting should be about what the viewer see’s in it, the emotions it evokes, the memories it stirs. It shouldn’t be an ‘exact copy’ of nature even if the anal retentive little F in me wants to make it that way.

So, I guess we can rule out painter.

I discovered computer programming at an early age and taught myself. I’ve made my living over the years programming computers or with the million other activities that make them useful and a curse. In programming there are times when beauty can truly be expressed, when the eloquence of the logic, the flow of the program, the way it is expressed has a kind of beauty. Programming, deep intuitive graceful programming can be truly beautiful to the observer conversant in the language and techniques expressed in the code. It was only recently that I looked at my 30 years behind the keyboard expressing logic to a machine as an expression of my need to write.

Humm… if programming is writing then perhaps I am a writer?

In the mathematics of chaos I find a beauty that for me feels the same as when I look at a lush green forest. I feel the face of God in the math and in the forest. Perhaps that is what I should try to paint. As I’ve come to understand chaos theory I’ve come to see it everywhere in nature. Fibonacci series, events that are random yet bounded, contained in a phase space. It brings a sense of beauty to me that is hard to describe, I don’t have the words for what I sense, what I feel as I see the world through these chaos inspired eyes.

I also play a couple musical instruments, not well but I do play them. Having people hear one of my simple original compositions and expressing that they like it is a real rush. I’ve known for years I needed to express myself in music even if I’m not truly a musician.

Humm….I’ve created music, effectively I’ve written it, does this make me a writer?

I’ve drawn on and off my entire life, usually pencil on paper. I was encouraged to pursue a career in art back in school but instead followed my interest in technology. Pencil on paper gives me an opportunity to express the anal retentive little F in me again as I often draw three dimensional objects then light the scene with shadow. Geeky, yes, even I admit this.

Humm….I draw, perhaps I’m an artist?

I build things with my hands, from simple wood working to simple machines. I design electronic circuits and bring them to life, often with a small computer embedded to give it more life, more interactivity. I’ve come to understand this is yet another form of expression.

I’ve written for myself most of my adult life, typically a few paragraphs that should have been kept in a journal but weren’t and have been lost. The first warm blue day of spring typically results in my writing that spring is here, I find I need to express my excitement about it. I’d never realized this was ‘writing’ until recently.

So, seeing my wife admit she is a writer, that she has always been a writer inspired me to ask the same question.

Am I a writer?

I’ve always had the core idea for a sci-fi book, written a bit like Philip K. Dick meets Isaac Asimov.  I sat down to write it and instead a story flowed from my fingers that I had little control over. The core of it was revealed to me in dreams. I honestly didn’t know where it was going until each part was written. It’s the story of a biker, his riding companion and how he comes to know himself and his companion. It’s really sad in places. I cried as I wrote those parts, often so hard I had a hard time seeing the screen as I typed, as I lived the events with the characters. As a rule I don’t cry, still reading over what I wrote brings tears to my eyes. (This is actually a bit uncomfortable for me to admit.) I honestly don’t know if the words are reflections on my life experience or just something I made up. My daughter recently read it, she commented on how sad parts of it are and on how she cried as she read it. So perhaps I am a writer, defined by the ability to convey emotion, to create a scene in my reader’s head that is real enough to bring tears to their eyes?

Before I started this book I thought writing was about writing what I wanted to say, instead for me it has become about writing something else entirely, something I don’t yet understand, something that just has to be said. A couple other story ideas have come to me, in my dreams. Stories I would never have consciously thought to write, I’m working on them now.

Some say I’ve found my muse and she is guiding me, other say I’m crazy. Either way, honestly I’m comfortable.

So, am I a writer? I leave it to you to decide, all comments welcome.

Today our six pullets (young chickens) were introduced to the side yard. They been in several cages as they have grown, today with some temporary fencing and netting a safe habitat in the side yard was setup. It took only a few seconds before they started scratching in the short grass and exploring the new environment.

As we were setting up the temp cage for them I needed to check the light in the coop, the wife had reported it was not working. She had tried a new bulb however it was still intermittent.  Using a flash light to see into the coop we found one of our existing grown chickens dead in the coop. She had been acting a bit funny the last few days. She had stopped laying some time ago and had lived out her remaining years free ranging with the other grow chickens in the side yard. I buried here under a large tree where her sisters have been buried over the years.

We didn’t start out to make pets of the chickens; however with time their personalities become know. Each is very different from the rest; each has her own way, her own favorite dust hole. Occasionally they make it up onto the back deck, we’ll be sitting watching TV and one, then another, then another chicken will pass the back sliding door as they look over the deck for any scrapes the dog may have missed. All I can say is ‘good luck’ as the one thing our old dog does well is get every last crumb. Heck, she watches the blue jays and squirrels hide peanuts in the yard, she then digs them up and eats them.

We’ve had as many as a dozen layers, now we are down to five old hens, all beyond their egg producing prime.

The pullets will add 5 hens and a rooster to the mix once we feel they are big enough to hold their own against Bertha, the head hen. I suspect a new pecking order will be established with the introduction of new blood and a rooster, we’ll have to wait and see.

One of the pullet hens seems to have splay feet; her feet don’t curl down, they curl out to the sides. Her feet are very symmetrical. She’s every bit as big as the two other hens of the same breed. Based on these two observations I’m convinced this is genetics and not a nutritional issue. She currently manages to roost; we’ll wait to see if she can once she’s full grown.

Today we saw the circle of life, the old die to make room for the young, it is as it’s always been and should always be. Personally living forever isn’t something I would wish on anyone.

If you missed part one please click http://neilb.wordpress.com/2007/03/10/nixies-and-pixies-and-numitrons-oh-my/ 

Let’s take a look at the anatomy of a typical NIXIE tube clock. In this part we look at NIXIE tubes and common methods to drive them.

Acknowledgements – I have provided links to several peoples web sites in this article. I thank them in advance for providing data and examples on their web sites.

NIXIE Tubes

So, let’s start with the NIXIE tubes. As they are no longer made many types are slowly become more and more rare. The B7971 tube have become very hard to find. By all appearances warehouses of some NIXIEs look to have been found in the old Soviet Union. A search for NIXIE on www.ebay.com will reveal several vendors selling tubes.

NOS or New Old Stock tubes. Many of the old Soviet tubes are what are known as NOS meaning literally that although they are old they have never been used, the net effect being they are like new.

You should be cautious of NOS tubes. It has been a common habit over the years to place a bad tube into the box the replacement came from. Sometimes these bad tubes in what look to be NOS boxes are sold as NOS. Sometimes NIXIEs are in flats that hold multiple tubes. NOS tubes in flats will all tend to be the same date code, if used tubes were placed back in the flat the Date codes tend to be mixed. Check with the seller to makes sure they are NOS.

Date codes. Most NIXIEs are marked with the manufactures name and a code that indicates when they were made. For example 7826 is most likely the 26^th week of 1978.

Used. These are tubes that have been used. NIXIE tubes have a finite life time. They fail in several ways. The filaments that form the numbers will slowly erode. Often the filament will erode depositing the eroded material on the inside of the tubes glass darkening the tube. Sometimes the filament will break rendering that digit inoperative. Multiple insertions into a tube socket can cause the seal between the tube and its pins to leak allowing the internal gases to leak out killing the tube. Tubes with flying leads (wires coming from the tube) that have been de-soldered can also leak at the wires due to mechanical or heat stress.

A good write up on cathode poisoning can be found at http://www.tube-tester.com/sites/nixie/different/cathode%20poisoning/cathode-poisoning.htm

Many of the tubes coming from the old Soviet Union are coming from ‘factory cartons’. These are typically NOS and are generally safe to buy.

Top, side or inverted side views. Some tubes are designed to be viewed from the top, others from the side of the tube, Inverted side tubes require the pins/wires to be oriented up in use.

You can find examples of these styles of tubes at http://www.tube-tester.com/sites/nixie/trade01-nixie-tubes.htm and http://www.tube-tester.com/sites/nixie/trade03-nixie-tubes.htm – More examples of tube types can be found at http://webx.dk/oz2cpu/clock/nixie-collection.htm

Specialty NIXIEs. Most NIXIEs can display the numbers 0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 and 9. There are however some NIXIEs that display special characters such as +/-, or only 0 and 1. Other tubes display scientific symbols or electronic symbols. Make sure whatever you order can display the required digits for your application.

You can find examples of special character tubes at http://www.tube-tester.com/sites/nixie/trade02-nixie-tubes.htm

Invereted fives. Some tubes used an upside fire (5) for the number two (2). Personally I think this looks awful. Again, knowing what you are ordering will help you in being satisfied with tubes. This was done to make the tube cheaper to manufacture.

The packaging of the tubes is important; I’ve seen pictures of tubes where nearly every tube was broken in transit. Don’t spend big money on tubes then wimp out on the shipping costs. Check with the seller to see how they ship them and if they will replace broken tubes, most will.

Driving the tubes

NIXIE tubes require about 180 volts to work. Most modern microcontrollers and drivers chips can’t deal with this high a voltage so some kind of driver electronics are required. (Future posts will cover power supplies.)

Direct Drive – Each NIXIE tube is individually driven, this is typically the simplest to implement.

In the era of NIXIE tubes special ICs (chips) were made to drive the tubes. The 7441 and 74141 were common. The IC is passed a 4-bit Binary Coded Value using standard logic levels, the IC selects one of ten outputs, and each output is connected to one number inside the tube. Recall that ‘0’ is also a number the tube needs to display it as well so we have ten total outputs. These parts haven’t been made for decades and have become hard to obtain. However there are again old Soviet parts that fill the same function.  Searching ebay for K151Id1 will usually result in several hits for driver ships.

Data on driver chips can be found at NIXIE Driver ICs.doc

Using one driver IC per NIXIE tube implements the display portion of a direct drive NIXIE clock, a four tube clock would use four driver ICs, a six clock would use six.

Some kit designs use high voltage transistors to handle the high voltage, some use modern chips that can handle the high voltage. These tend to be the exceptions and are beyond the scope of this article.

Multiplexed Drive – Each NIXIE is turned on individually for a brief moment in sequence, this happens fast enough that the eye can’t see them flicker. It’s generally believed that by multiplexing the tubes they will have a longer life.

The same ICs as is listed above can be used. Only one IC is required for clocks with up to four tubes. Basically each NIXIE has the high voltage switched to it with the correct BCD code being sent to the driver IC.  This of course requires coordination of high voltage switches and the driver IC. Every multiplexed clock I have encountered uses a microcontroller to accomplish this, the multiplexing logic being implemented in software within the microcontroller. In a four tube multiplexed design each tube is powered up for ¼ of the display cycle time.

Clock with more than four tubes are generally multiplexed in what is known as a 2×3 scheme. Basically the first three tubes are multiplexed together while the last three tubes are separately multiplexed together. Two of the driver ICs mentioned above would be needed, one for each group of three tubes. This results in sufficient brightness as each tube is powered up 1/3 of the display cycle time. If all six tubes were multiplexed together they would only be powered up 1/6 of the cycle time, this scheme typically results in dim tubes.

Some people have been successful with 1×6 multiplexing schemes so please don’t take my advice as absolute – please see http://www.webx.dk/oz2cpu/clock/nixie-clock.htm for a great example.

More technical info on multiplexing can be found at http://www.decodesystems.com/multiplexed-nixies.html

In part 3 we will examine the Microcontroller.